Le Theme Party

You all know this queen. The one who sleeps 4-5 hours a day, goes to yoga before the sun rises, reads gigantic texts books about art, goes to look at art, goes to all of the parties, travels the world, AND is researching/developing cancer cures (she’s a DOCTOR — Oncologist). Well, my “That Queen” is Melissa Mathais. She is an avant garde fashion queen, intellectual, and one of the most loving/generous/nurturing people I know (though she may vehemently deny it). I’m thrilled to share her words and wisdom on using the ever timeless theme party to create memorable moments. You can follow her on the gram @Mmath6!

Chic,

Jen Kim

Radical Hospitality: The Theme Party Edition

By: Melissa Mathais

When Jen pitched this concept [Radical Hospitality], I was viscerally transported to some favorite memories: College ragers, weekend trips, and endless phone calls that all shared an intangible warmth. Warmth that comes from giggles, intellectual kinship, and craft beer. Warmth that is intimacy in community.

I offer to this online community: “The Theme Party”. 

The Theme Party is a lifestyle. To take something simple like “sparkle” and then see the creativity and LOLZ your people can manifest (sparkle Hershey wrappers, champagne, glitzy dresses from castaway Christmas skirts, Donnie darko sparkle motion references) is my Radical Hospitality. 

I love group brainstorming for a theme that is accessible, borders on inappropriate, and has a tongue-in-cheek relationship to our cultural zeitgeist. While I am sure that each of you have and can come up with personal and hysterical variations, a favorite from my repertoire is TABLOID.

In the years post college, my people were dispersed throughout the US and strapped for ca$h. We converged in Memphis [thank you Southwest Airlines (shameless plug for sponsorship)] for a friend’s 21st again, again, again birthday.

Each of us picked a celeb alter ego to impersonate throughout the weekend. The missive was not to break character for a majority of the 72 hours. For the first time in known history, Victoria Beckham, Marky Mark Wahlberg, Jennifer Lopez and others shared a house, too few beds, and too many handles of tequila. We spent the weekend sightseeing (Graceland is not overrated), visiting local restaurants, and canoodling in coffee shops. This all culminated in a giant house party (see above handles of tequila).

Close to a decade later, I still recall one-liner jokes and ridiculous photos from this weekend. I remember the visionary that was Perez Hilton. I look at Versace’s 20th anniversary throwback to J. Lo’s infamous green gown and know with deep personal conviction that “double sided sticky tape” is not all she used. 

I wish each of you a life filled with costumes, laughter, camaraderie, and many ledinnerparty© treats.

Love,

M

Radical Hospitality: Yasmin's Chai

Yasmin Mohsin Naqvi is my homegirl, my ride or die queen, and one of my best friends on this formerly green earth. She speaks up against micro-aggressors, shows all the way the fuck up, is a boss lady, and gives 3000% to those she cares for. I feel blessed to be in her inner circle and to receive her love. She is my sister-girl, and I miss her dearly.

Now that fall is here, it's time to get cozy and make hot drinks that warm both body and soul. Tis the season to make Yasmin's exquisitely elegant chai tea, dahlings! I loved reading about what chai represents to Yasmin, and learning about the nuances of different recipes and iterations (depending on the region of India). I hope you make Yasmin's chai for your loved ones before sitting around the table to chat into the late hours of the night. You can follow Yasmin on Insta @Ymohsin2.

Chic,

Jen

Yasmin’s Chai

When I was little, my mom taught me how to make chai so that we could make our guests feel special when they would come to our home. I always looked forward to the end of the night, after everyone had finished eating, when it was time for me to make the chai. My cousins would gather around the stove and watch me as I went through the process of making the tea. I would experiment with different combinations of spices and teas, adjust the cooking time to see how it would change the taste of the tea, and use different types of milk. I was so excited to share what I had made, and everyone would always say how amazing the chai was, even if I had overcooked it or added too much sugar. It didn’t matter how the chai turned out, it was about the company.  Everyone would sit around the table, sharing childhood stories, sipping tea, and chatting for hours. This is what Radical Hospitality means to me. It’s about creating spaces where guests can be themselves; it’s about creating a space where the host isn’t afraid to experiment and share something new with their community, even if the result isn’t perfect; it’s about building a space of mutual love, respect, and support for one another. In my family, we created these spaces with chai.

 My family is Indian, and Indians are major chai drinkers. Chai is the Hindi word for tea and is integral to Indian culture.  Indians drink chai throughout the day; it’s not just meant for the morning like most caffeinated beverages. One thing I’ve learned is that there is no such thing as “authentic” chai. The spices in the chai, the type of leaves used, and the process for preparing the chai all depend on the region, the customs in that region, and the person making the chai.  Every type of chai is beautiful in its own way and incorporates elements that are unique to each region. For example, in Kashmir, the chai is made with saffron, one of the world’s most expensive spices which has been grown in the Kashmir valley for centuries. In Hyderabad, the part of India that my family is from, chai is typically made with cardamom, clove, cinnamon, and ginger which are also the spices used for the bases of many Hyderabadi dishes.  No matter what ingredients you use, making chai is a way of showing respect and love for your guests.  

I’ve experimented with many combinations of ingredients and am excited to share my chai recipe, which incorporates my favorite elements of the different types of chai I’ve tried. The main components of any chai are tea, spices, sweetener, and milk.  For my recipe, I’ll be using a black Lipton tea, cardamom, saffron, 2% milk, and raw sugar. The cardamom adds an herbal quality, and the saffron adds a floral touch and is also a symbol of generosity. These are the ingredients that I’ve found make a fragrant and delicate chai, but there are so many options. I’ve included a few ways you can change up the recipe and encourage you to explore all the variations and create a chai of your own that you can share with your community.

Recipe Type: Quick and Easy

Time: 20 minutes

Servings: Up to you! This recipe is easily scalable

Ingredients

½ a cup of water per person

½ a cup of milk per person (use 2% milk or whole milk, do not use skim)

1 tea bag per person (I use black Lipton tea for this recipe, but you can use any black tea you like)

2 cardamom pods per person

A pinch of saffron (3-4 saffron threads) a person

Raw sugar

Equipment

A medium pot (if this is for a larger group of people opt for a big pot)

A large spoon or ladle

A medium spoon

A fine sieve (this is to strain out any milk solids when you pour the tea)

Teacups and saucers for serving

Instructions

1. If you are using tea bags, remove the paper tags and tie the strings together so that the bags stay together

2. Add the water to the pot and let the water get to a rolling boil

3. Reduce the heat to a simmer and add the tea bags and the cardamom pods

4. Let the tea and cardamom continue to simmer for about 3-5 minutes

5. Add in the milk and increase heat to medium high (watch it carefully because simmering milk has the tendency to boil over!)

6. Once the milky mixture begins to boil, reduce it back down to a simmer and let it continue to cook for 8-10 more minutes

7. The tea should look golden brown in color. If you notice that the liquid looks a little darker than you would like, add a splash of milk. If you would like the tea to be a bit darker, let the tea continue to simmer. 

8. Once your tea is at the desired color and consistency, turn the heat off and carefully remove the tea bags and cardamom pods from the pot. Be sure to squeeze out the tea from the bags by putting them on the spoon and using another spoon to push down on the bags so that the liquid comes out.

 How to Serve

1. Place the fine sieve over each cup, and using a large spoon or ladle, pour the tea into each cup. I recommend pouring the tea into the cups and then putting the cups in the saucers in case you spill.

2. I add the sweetening agent (in this case raw sugar) after the chai is done cooking because preferences vary. I’d recommend asking each of your guests how sweet they like their tea and then adding sugar based on what they prefer. If they don’t like it very sweet, only add a half a teaspoon of sugar. If they prefer a medium amount of sweetness, add a full teaspoon. If they like it really sweet, add two teaspoons of sugar.

3. Finally, take a pinch of saffron (3-4 threads), and gently rub the threads between your fingers, and sprinkle it on top of each cup of tea.  Don’t crush the threads, you want to release the fragrance of the saffron without breaking the threads so that your guests can see the beautiful ruby strands.

4. Pair the tea with whatever dessert your guests have brought or with tea biscuits.

 Variations

Other teas to use: if you can find it, one of my favorite teas is Lasa Lamsa tea. It’s a traditional Hyderabadi tea that has subtle hints of vanilla. Darjeeling tea also makes for a lovely chai!

Other spices to use: follow the same process but add in freshly grated ginger (about a teaspoon a person), cloves (1 clove a person), and cinnamon (stick with a pinch of powder a person, don’t do a stick because it will get bitter).  You would add these spices at the same time that you add the tea bags, and you’ll get a completely different chai that has a kick!

Other milk to use: try using evaporated milk; the chai will turn out sweeter and thicker

Other sweeteners to use: try using raw honey or manuka honey. You would add this at the stage that you would add the sugar. The tea will turn out a little more floral.

Creating Moments of Radical Hospitality in the Patagonian Wilderness

Hey Le Party People!

Rachel Chase is my friend who would survive the Oregon trail. She is hardy AF, builds shit, and frequently hikes all over the world (carrying her provisions and such) — she recently completed a two week adventure in the French Alps. She is intelligent, loyal, kind, cares deeply about her close friends and family, and due to her Midwestern upbringing can take down a piece of corn on the cob in about 15 seconds. She is my corn queen, and I am so grateful to have her in my life. This week, Rachel shares her thoughts on what Radical Hospitality means to her. You can follow her on Instagram @rachreneechase.

Chic,

Jen

Rachel is the 2nd queen from the left

When I think of what radical hospitality means to me, I think of a trip I took to the Patagonian wilderness last winter. I went with a group of students from my MBA program and set out to spend 10 self-reliant days living in tents, cooking our own food, and navigating through wilderness terrain. As someone who loves to eat and who is used to the endless culinary possibilities of New York City, I was worried about the notoriously terrible goopy brown dehydrated backpacking meals. What I encountered, however, was an experience that changed the way I look at the power of food and community.

In teams of nine we'd divide and carry rations through the wilderness; bags of dried vegetables and spices, flour, oats, and pasta, wheat and flaxseed, beans and lentils, blocks of cheese and salami. We would divide the food by size and weight, distributing it to our team based on each person's ability, and adjusting throughout the week as exhaustion and energy levels fluctuated and shifted. At the end of the day, before tents would go up or water would be fetched, each person would empty the contents of their food rations into a pile in the middle of the camp, and as a team, we would come up with an idea for what to make for dinner that evening. As the week went on, we would learn each person's strengths, preferences, and dislikes, and meals became more and more creative. We shifted from basic pasta with red sauce to an imaginative take on shepherd's pie with a lentil and rice filling, and a dehydrated mashed potato and cheese topping. Sure, these aren't meals that you might crave in the real world or seek out recipes for, but in those moments of pure community and togetherness, they represented a true glimpse of what Radical Hospitality can look like. After eating, we'd clean up and talk about how we were feeling physically and emotionally, and if anyone was struggling, others would offer to carry more food to lighten the load. Everyone was always very aware of how each person was doing, and these conversations happened over the food we had all made together. Over these wilderness meals, we would take the time to slow down, to laugh, to listen, to share, and to be radically hospitable to each other and to ourselves.

These moments of Radical Hospitality are ones I remember months later back in the city. Moments where each person comes exactly as they are, with blistered feet and weary backs, and creates something beautiful and life-giving together. This trip made me more confident in the kitchen, more creative with what foods I want to try, and more eager to recreate moments where everyone comes together to contribute to the party and share their true selves.

The Art of Radical Hospitality

Hi, fam! So much has happened these last few weeks: Romaine and I moved from Brooklyn to Paris, began building our new home in Paris, and she completed her first week of culinary school. As you can imagine, life has been busy, and I'm relieved to have the time and space to think and write. This week, I want to share my thoughts on something close to my heart and what I believe to be the core of Le Dinner Party—Radical Hospitality. 

I created Le Dinner Party to share and emphasize the "how" to host dinner parties so that you, my Le Dinner Party community, would be empowered to build relationships and connect with your friends and loved ones through shared meals. I launched the website a month ago, and while I'm proud of her lewk, her vibe, and her energy, I want to be clear that I had merely set the figurative table—I told you who she was. Now it's time to explore who we are.

The Art of Radical Hospitality

I hope you've experienced moments like this—content lethargy following a delicious meal, lounging about with your dearest friends, the comfort of occupying the space as your full authentic self, and feeling an abundance of love; a sense of belonging. These are the moments that I treasure and strive to create—moments of Radical Hospitality. 

Let's quickly orient ourselves to Radical Hospitality by touching on traditional hospitality. I like to parse traditional hospitality into two very broad categories: when a host drives the experience (e.g., someone inviting you over for dinner), and an experience paid for by the guest (e.g., the hospitality industry—restaurants, hotels, etc.). While these categories and definitions are rudimentary and by no means fully encompass what hospitality is, I'm defining them to illustrate the movement of energy or effort. The energy or effort in both instances moves from the host to the guest. Consequently, these experiences can feel transactional or unequal.

What then is Radical Hospitality? Radical Hospitality is a way of gathering in which all participants actively contribute (food, ideas, energy, and love) to the community, to create an inclusive and equitable space. It shifts the movement of energy found in traditional forms of hospitality. Rather than the host driving the experience, the individuals participating collectively contribute to create a space that is equal; where people feel comfortable enough to show up as their most authentic selves. While the idea seems simple enough to understand, it is much more nuanced and complicated to execute (kind of like the idea of equality). The concept is radical because the dinner does not belong to one person, rather it is about the community and putting people on equal footing. Radical Hospitality empowers folks to have the freedom to exchange respect, empathy, love, and ideas in a genuine or authentic way. Radical Hospitality is NOT about glorifying the host, flexing on social media, or driving an agenda. It is simply a curated space where people can live life deeply and richly. 

How do we create moments of Radical Hospitality? I believe the meal is one of the best vehicles for this exchange of energy—of building community—and a moment to develop a sense of belonging. Meals are where life happens: folks catch up on the hot gossip of the day, share their hopes and dreams, empathize with one another, build and deepen relationships, and fall in love. Food resonates so profoundly with me because of the way it connects people. Meals are a universal bonding experience, and food is the global language. The formula for Radical Hospitality differs from traditional dinners in that all participants are asked to be intentional; guests and host both contribute something physical to the meal to share, and actively participate throughout the experience. Radical Hospitality is about sharing and learning from the plurality of experiences of all the people sitting at the table. 

We will continue to explore Radical Hospitality on this website, and I will share the “how” to create these moments in the How to Party section (e.g. how to be an inclusive host, be a gracious guest, throw a dope potluck and meet diverse groups of people, etc.). Additionally, in the spirit of Radical Hospitality, I've asked my community to share their definition and interpretation of Radical Hospitality with us through their words, art, recipes, and whatever else they want to bring to the table (stay tuned). Please note that my definition of Radical Hospitality will continually evolve as we explore the topic further. 

You, my reader—my dinner guest, are a fundamental part of the Le Dinner Party community. I encourage you to contribute and join the party by writing your thoughts in the comments section found here and all over the website (and on IG too!). Le Dinner Party is Radical Hospitality, and I'm excited to explore and build with you!

Chic,

Jen